Reading and Writing

Didn't I say I was bright?  I'm above average intelligence, but not genius.  Too dumb to hang out with Einstein, too smart to hang out with normal people.  I never really fit anywhere.  While I was in high school, I was grouped with the nerds, but I really wasn't one.  I don't RP, play video games, build computer software, or watch Doctor Who (although I am interested in it, I just don't know where to start).

I read, but I'm not a stereotypical bookworm either.  I read romance, fantasy, and children's; and the occasional cozy mystery, horror, literary, and YA.  Eclectic isn't abnormal, but I don't read all the bestsellers or anything like that.  I just read what I want to read. Like Pocucurante in Candide by Voltaire:  “Fools have a habit of believing that everything written by a famous author is admirable. For my part I read only to please myself and like only what suits my taste.”

In reality, I find I focus on the wrong things.  Instead of giving to the poor or volunteering, most of the money I get goes on books and stuff for me.  I don't think people think less of me for wanting to build my mind and library--but it's actually a selfish habit.

Writing and reading are some of the most selfish things you can do.  When you're reading, you're tending to your needs and wants.  Writing is slightly less selfish.  Many times I've written something and I thought it helped people.  Most of the time, though, I write for myself.

The funny thing about writing is that I know it's my calling.  I can't see myself doing anything else, and nothing else has really opened up for me.  I'm a writer.  So, if it's my calling, it's okay, right?  And to be a good writer, I have to read a lot, right?

I'm introverted.  I don't like being around people, and after a while, I just want to curl up and read or write, or something.  I used to feel bad about it.  Then I got over it.  If I spent all my time around people, I'd never get any reading or writing done.  Churches stress the importance of relationships.  I don't get into relationships easy.  I have two best friends, some casual acquaintances that I seldom talk to, and a big, crazy family.  For me, that's more than enough social interaction.

I swear, I think social media was invented for introverts.  Looking at my Facebook wall, I think if people didn't already know I was an introvert, they wouldn't know it by looking at my wall.  I'm very honest and open about what I like and what I'm doing.  In person, not so much.

It's easy to be anyone online.  Even yourself.  It always aggravates me that there's few people in my "real life" that I have much in common with.  I don't make any connections online either.  It's lonely, being one of a kind.

Yes, I love playing tortured artist.